Chapter 13

It took Mule a little longer to get out of the truck, due to the cast on his leg. Squiggy was practically running up to the front door of the church.

His face almost looked like that of a rabid dog. He finally waited for Mule, who was hurrying but not making good time.

"Hurry up!" Squiggy said. "Can't you smell it?"

"I am," Mule countered. "Did you cheese?"

"Naw, it's already passed. I'm talking about the food!"

Mule paused for a second and did detect a faint odor of the food waiting for them inside. Free food, that is.

He picked up the speed and was practically running, or as close to running a person can be with a cast on a leg and using crutches.

Squiggy had waited long enough. He opened the door and walked inside. The smell of the food hit him full force now and Squiggy was practically drooling. There was a long hallway leading into the fellowship hall. He could see some people already pigging out and that bothered him. They were eating his food.

There was a knock on the door he just entered. Squiggy stopped and turned around. Mule was standing at the door, knocking on it rather loudly with a crutch. Squiggy waved at his friend to come on in, then realized that must be a problem.

"Crapfire!" he said and went back to open the door. This hanging out with a crip was starting to get on his nerves. He opened the door and let Mule in.

"Thanks, Squiggy!"

"Yeah, whatever," he said and brushed past his friend, nearly knocking Mule down in the process.

There was an older man waiting at the end of the hall, smiling. His hair was gone for the most part. His face was rather thin with cheekbones that were sticking out. The man's eyebrows were thick and bushy. Squiggy noticed the man had long hairs sticking out of his ears. Usually, Squiggy would have told the man to trim his eye brows and ear hairs, but was too concerned with eating.

"Happy Thanksgiving!" the man said, way too cheery for Squiggy's taste.

"Yeah," Squiggy said. He was looking around rather frantic like. "Where's the grub?"

The smile faded a little. "Right over there." He pointed to four tables set against the east wall. Four tables, that is, loaded with food!

Squiggy took off like he was shot out of a cannon, leaving Mule several steps behind. Mule had picked up the pace and was almost to the greeter.

"Happy Thanksgiving!" the man offered, although without as much enthusiasm.

"Thanks!" Mule said. He happened to catch the man's ear hair and had to stare at it for a few seconds. The man had longer hair growing out of his ear than Mule's mother did on her head. "Can I eats here?"

"You sure can!"

Mule smiled and sped off toward the table. Squiggy was at the end of the line, waiting for a couple of old ladies to get out of his way. He happened to notice a collection plate on the table in front of him. There were several dollar bills and change inside. Squiggy acted like he dug something out of his pocket and placed it in the collection plate. As his hand was removed, several of the green pieces of paper made the trip back and were quickly placed in his pocket.

The old ladies were moving slower than a turtle. Heck, he thought, Mule even caught up with him.

"I didn't think we had to pay?" Mule said.

"We don't gotta pay," Squiggy said with a substantial amount of irritation. These old ladies needed to get a move on. "Sometime today?"

The two old ladies turned around. Neither of them looked all that happy. The first one's body frame had the look of a rolly polly. She wore a flowered dress that almost came down to the ground, unable to cover her sandals. Squiggy noticed the woman's toenails were curled back under her hairy toes.

The second woman had hair the color of the sky on a clear day, although it was thinning enough that Squiggy could see her scalp. She carried an oxygen bottle in a pouch slung across her shoulder, although she wasn't hooked up to it at the present time.

She was also rather plump and took a sample of the turkey and put it in her mouth. The chewing process lasted way too long and apparently her feet did not work while her teeth did.

"Hey, get the lead out!" Squiggy added.

The second woman turned to look at him. She had a little bit of turkey lodged on her lip. "What did you say?" the woman asked, loud enough to be heard throughout the large fellowship hall.

"I said 'get the lead out'! We's hungry!"

"Just hold your britches, sonny. Plenty to eat!"

Squiggy shook his head and turned to look at Mule. "Old people tick me off!"

Mule heard the comment easily, as did the two older women ahead of Squiggy, and the two church ladies on the other side of the table. They almost appeared to be carbon copies of the women slowing down the feed trough.

"Sir, please calm down," one of the church ladies said.

"I'll calm down when I gets some food," Squiggy replied.

The women in front of him gradually got out of the way. Squiggy was carrying two plates that he quickly filled up with massive amounts of food.

One of the church ladies was smiling at him. "That's very nice of you to get the plate for your hurt friend."

"He can get his own dang plate," Squiggy said.

He got to the end of the line. Another old woman was waiting for him. "What can I get you to drink?"

"Got any beer?"

"Excuse me?"

"Never mind. Get me some of that there tea and make sure it's loaded with sugar. I needs a fix."

Mule was struggling to carry his plate. One of the church ladies offered to help. "Sir, can I carry your plate for you?"

"Uh, I guess. Can I get it back?"

"Of course."

"Good. Load me up some of them mashed taters." He watched as the woman got some mashed potatoes and put some on his plate. "Mind hitting that again?"

"Oh, you want more?"

He nodded, licking his lips. No Chef Boyardee today! Mule added a few other orders, asking for a little more each time. At the end of the line, the church lady was having trouble carrying his loaded plate without spilling.

"You know you can come back through and get seconds?" she asked.

"Good. How 'bout thirds?"

"I guess."

She carried the massive plate over and sat it down next to Squiggy, who was attacking his food with a passion. A good portion was splattered all over his face.

"Hey, get me some more tea," Squiggy said, handing the woman his cup without ever missing a beat.

"Uh, okay," said the woman, who had given up a family dinner to help out. She looked at some of the other visitors and noticed many of them were staring at the two men with what appeared to be disgust. It was easy to see why. They were practically slurping down the food, sounding like the hogs at her house did when they ate.

She left and filled up his tea. When the woman returned, Squiggy was well into his second plate. "Here you go."

"Hang on," he said, his mouth so full of food that she could barely understand him. Squiggy handed her the plate. "Get me some more of that there dressing and a turkey leg, if you got one."

The woman sighed and left. She got rid of the empty paper plate and got a new one. The woman added a fair helping of dressing and a turkey leg. She brought the food back to the table and put the plate next to the man. "A big shot of sugar for my tea," Squiggy gurgled through his food.

"Anything else?" she asked. Squiggy shook his head. Mule handed her his plate. He tried to communicate, but his mouth was so full it was pure gibberish. "You want some more food?"

He nodded.

"What would you like?"

"Lots," Mule managed to say.

The woman left again. Conversation was kept at a minimum between the two men. Eating was a lot more important to them than talking.

"Good stuff, eh?" Squiggy said. He looked at Mule and watched his friend take a plate with a piece of pumpkin pie by his hands and shove the whole thing in his mouth.

Most people might be offended by Mule's actions. Not Squiggy. It was the same way he polished off a piece of pecan pie minutes before.

"Hurry up and finish so we's can go," Squiggy said.

"I ain't through yet," Mule argued. He had a big wad of cool whip on his nose.

"We's gonna hit the Baptists up after this."

"You don't reckon they'd care that we'd already eat?"

"Naw, they won't know if you'd get all that food off your face."

Mule got a napkin and wiped away. It pretty much smeared the food all over his face. Squiggy noticed there were several crumbs in Mule's beard.

"Saving them for later?" he asked.

"What?"

"Them crumbs in your beard."

"Naw, they'll fall out. Would you get a plate to take to Mommy?"

"Let her get her own friggin food."

"Please?"

Squiggy shook his head. He was starting to get a little indegestion from all the food. "We can get her some at the Baptist church."

Mule nodded. Hopefully she could wait while they ate again. He knew his mother had not ate a good meal in several days and wished she would stop spending all her food money on smokes.

Squiggy slowly opened his mouth and what sounded like a loud thunder clap burst out, a burp loud enough to be heard throughout the fellowship hall.

Mule scooted his chair a couple of feet away, hoping some people didn't think he was with Squiggy.

"That was rude!" said an old man several tables away. Judging from the fact that it didn't look like the man had taken a bath in several days, it didn't bother Squiggy.

"Yeah, I can smell you clear over here."

The little man started to get up. He put on his hat and muttered something about taking care of this. His wife had her face about two inches away from the food. Her arm looked like an assembly line, channeling the food into her mouth. She said something and her husband took his hat off and sat back down.

Mule's tummy was starting to rumble. "Uh oh."

"What's wrong now?" asked Squiggy, eating the last meat off the bone. He held the turkey leg out and rolled it around, wanting to make sure no meat was wasted.

"I's need to poot."

"So?"

"I don't want nobody to hear me poot in a church."

"Don't worry bout it. Probably be one of them silent ones. Dressing always gets me fired up.

Mule continued to have a pained look on his face. "I'm hurting, Squiggy!"

"Let her rip."

"Is it okay?"

"Won't bother me none," Squiggy said. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Mule hike his unbroken leg, the one next to him. "I figger it'll be one of them silent ones."

Mule nodded and let go. Squiggy's prediction was far from the truth.

Chapter 14