Chapter 24

For a man like our pal Mule, this was nirvana. He was in an establishment where we women actually removed their clothing without any effort at all on his part.

Squiggy noticed his friend was jumping around like some child who had ate way too much sugar. "Calm down a tad bit there Mule."

Mule nodded, but his head was turning around almost like Regan, the young girl in The Exorcist, not wanting to miss any chance of seeing a woman without her shirt on.

There was a main stage where a woman was dancing to some bad rock music, tempting the guests with a looksie every now and then. On a couple of tables, women were actually dancing with men staring at them like there was a filet mignon dangling in front of them after they had fasted for a month.

Squiggy didn't know Mule could move so fast. He darted from this table, to the next, and then up to the main stage and back.

"Thank you, Squiggy," he said and tried to hug his friend.

"Cut that crap out. Let's go sit down."

"Can we sit close to the stage?"

Squiggy noticed his friend appeared to be slobbering. "That'd be fine. Git yer dang tongue back in yer mouth."

"Sorry." Mule took off at a rather brisk pace to a table close to the main stage. He stood for several seconds, staring at the dancer. "I seen a nipple!"

"Good for you," Squiggy said as he sat down. "Take a seat, Mule, you's embarrassing me."

Mule slowly tried to sit down, only discovering about halfway down that there wasn't a chair under him. He plopped down on the ground and didn't say a word.

"Git in the dang chair!" Squiggy said. This might not have been such a good idea, he started to realize.

Mule slowly got up and slid over into a chair, never letting his eyes wander from the stage. Within seconds, an oriental woman came over and sat down at the table. He looked over at her and looked disappointed.

"You ain't naked!" Mule said. The woman had long black hair and some kind of shawl covering her top. She also had a black skirt that was shorter than you typically see at the mall.

"Not yet!" she said. "How bout a table dance?"

"Yeah!"

The woman sat still for a few seconds, staring at Mule. She was smiling, revealing a rather large gap between her front teeth. She wasn't the most attractive dancer in the club, not that it bothered Mule.

"Well?" he asked.

"You must pay first," she said.

"What for?"

"I don't do table dance for free."

"How much?" Squiggy chimed in

"Twenty bucks," she said.

Mule about choked. "We gotta pay you twenty dollars to have you dance on our table?"

"That is correct, sir."

Mule looked at his friend with hope, much like a little child appears to their parent after asking for candy.

"I ain't payin you no twenty dollars," Squiggy said.

"How come?" the woman and Mule asked in unison.

"It ain't like you's the top attraction here."

The woman's smile drifted away, but quickly returned. "How about you buy me a drink?"

"I was kinder hopin you'd buy us one," Squiggy replied.

The woman shook her head, stood up and stormed off.

"Dadgum," Mule said. "She didn't even let us see nothin."

Squiggy exited off in the direction of the bar, leaving Mule unattended. This, of course, was not a good idea. With his friend gone, Mule got up and walked up to the stage and leaned between two old men who smelled like they had not bathed since Thanksgiving.

The woman had removed her top, but had something over the main deals, preventing Mule from seeing the goodies. He watched her dance and the boobs bounce around like a bowl of jello.

"Yer purdy," he shouted loud enough that Squiggy could hear him at the bar.

"Why thank you," the dancer said. She moved over closer to him and held her g-string out.

Mule reached out and snapped it.

"Ouch!" she said, looking around for help. "Why'd you do that?"

"Ain't that what you wanted me to do?"

"Naw, I figured you'd put a dollar in." She turned and showed him where several dollars had been placed on the other hip under the thin fabric.

Mule was transfixed by the movement of the woman's breasts. "What's that crap over yer nipplets?"

"It's called a pastie." The dancer moved a little closer to the middle of the stage.

"I can't see em!"

"That's the idea."

"That sucks."

Mule felt a hand on his back and turned around to see a huge man lurking over him. He didn't know people grew this big.

"Howdy," Mule said.

"You need to back off," the man said. His head was shaven and had narrow slits for eyes. His head even looked muscled up.

"What for?"

"Cause I said. You's makin the woman nervous."

"She ain't showing her nips!"

"Get back to your seat."

Mule shrugged his shoulder and returned to his seat. Squiggy arrived back, carrying two shot glasses.

"Here," he said, handing one to Mule.

Mule gulped it down in one drink, then shook his head. "What was that?"

"A shot."

"I didn't hear no gunshot."

Squiggy shook his head. "It was a shot of whiskey."

"Oh. That big feller don't like the Mule much."

"So?"

Mule shrugged. Another woman appeared at the table. She was adorned with a rather nice body, covered with a long tee-shirt. Her appearance left something to be desired. She had big buck teeth, a long nose and fish eyes. The woman's hair was poofed up in some kind of bun thing.

"Ugh," Mule said.

"Howdy," the woman said, acting like she had not heard Mule. "I'm Magestic!"

"Huh?" Squiggy asked.

"I said I'm Magestic."

"What's that?" Mule asked. He had noticed the woman wasn't much to look at, but was blessed with a rack like he had seldom seen before.

"My name."

"Naw, it ain't," Squiggy argued. "You can't tell me that's yer real name."

"I could."

"But you'd be a lyin."

"So?"

Squiggy shrugged, also staring at the woman's upper torso.

"Boy, you got some big uns!" Mule commented.

"Uh, thank you."

"Can I see em?"

"Want a table dance?"

"Naw, I just wanna take a peak at them jugs."

"How bout a drink?"

"I just finished one."

The woman rolled her fish eyes. "No, I meant for me."

"The bars right over there," Mule said, jerking his thumb in that direction.

The woman turned her attention to Squiggy. "Your friend ain't all that bright, is he?"

"Naw, but he don't gotta show body parts to get paid."

The woman stood up, appalled. "Just what do you mean by that?"

"Nothing. Just don't like some chick talkin trash bout my buddy."

She shook her head and walked away. On the next table, some tall woman was climbing on a table between two men wearing cheap suits and a lot of drool. Mule moved his chair over so he was practically sitting at the table with the two men.

"Excuse me," one man said, glaring at Mule. "Just what do you think you're doing?"

"Shut up," Mule said.

The other man was insulted. "You can't tell him that!"

"Just did," Mule replied. "You can shut yer zipper too! I'm tryin to enjoy this."

"But this is our table dance!" the first man said.

"You got plenty of room."

"This is not right!" the other man said. "I am going to complain to management!"

"Knock yerself out, pretty boy."

The woman was perched on the table with her arms crossed. The song was almost over and that meant she would have to go another song.

Squiggy appeared and got Mule back to their table.

"You's can watch from here," he said.

"I can't see as good. My eyes are blurrin up something bad since I shot that whiskey."

The DJ came over the loudspeaker. "Now, for your entertainment pleasures, we give you...Star!"

Mule looked at the stage and saw a vision of beauty. Long blonde hair and a face that belonged on the cover of a magazine. She was wearing a tight tee-shirt, cut off at the sleeves and just below her main assets, revealing a tanned and rippling belly with some kind of jewelry coming out of her bellybutton.

She also had on a pair of cut-off jean shorts, frayed at the bottom. They were rather short. When she turned around, Mule stood up.

"Squiggy, I seen the bottom of her rear!"

"Sit down," Squiggy answered, not that it did any good.

Mule moved up to the stage and gawked at the woman named Star. She waited until the song was half over to remove her top. Mule realized quickly that Star didn't bother with any pasties. She moved over in front of him and got down on her knees while arching her back. She was slowly moving to the music.

Squiggy had a bad feeling about this. It grew worse as he watched Mule reach out and tweak the woman's nipple on her right breast.

Mule turned around to Squiggy, smiling proudly. This was right before the woman kicked him in the side of the head with a cowboy boot and the bouncer came storming out of the crowd and delivered a perfect form tackle that knocked Mule up on the stage.

"Uh oh," Squiggy said and wished he could escape under the table. But he couldn't, of course, not with the human hulk attacking his friend.

That was when things got even worse.

Chapter 25