Chapter 36

Squiggy had just shoved in a handful of Pringles when he saw the passenger side door open on the car parked behind him.

He tried to ask the boy something, but had too many chips in his mouth. Knowing his ability to talk would be hampered for a few seconds, Squiggy rolled down the window and saw who was coming up behind him.

It was Police Chief Arnold and he didn't look all that happy. He was getting out of another police car that was parked behind him. The chief would take a couple of steps before stopping to grab his back and grimace.

"He don't look happy," the boy said.

"Naw, he don't," Squiggy agreed, right before he shoved another handful of chips in his mouth.

The chief was approaching them with his usual stiff-legged walk, looking like something was jammed up his rectum. He started waving his arms, like that would help.

"Reckon we oughta drive off?" the boy asked.

Squiggy shook his head since he couldn't talk. Actually, he wanted to hear what the chief had to say. Squiggy was expecting praise for stepping up to the plate and providing law enforcement when nobody had even asked him to do so.

The chief finally arrived at his car and stuck his hand in the window. He immediately pulled it back out and started waving his hands and coughing.

"What the crap's that smell?" he asked. "Hey, is that a Little Debbie wrapper? You boys didn't eat my Little Debbie's, did you?"

Squiggy and the boy looked at each other and laughed. Squiggy's mouth was still about half full of chips. "I saved you some Pringles." He opened his mouth and spit the half-eaten chips back in the can.

The chief looked like somebody had just showed him something disgusting. "Is that marywanna?"

The boy nodded. The chief leaned against the car and shook his head.

"I can't believe you boys been smokin pot in my police car!"

"We's been police occifers," Squiggy said. He popped out a beer and took a swig.

"No!" the chief hollered. "You can't smoke pot and drink beer in my police car!"

"You do."

"I don't smoke pot!"

"You drive round drinkin the beer," Squiggy arged.

"Not where nobody can see me!"

"Want one?"

"Best not. I just took enough pain medicine to sterilize a rhino."

"What you doin out here?" the boy asked. "We got things under control."

"Shut up," the chief said. "I got calls from the dispatcher and several others complaining about some cop trying to hit on the dispatcher and then somebody driving my car running cars off the road."

"Hee hee," Squiggy giggled.

"Now that's funny," the boy suggested. Apparently, the chief didn't find so much humor in it.

"Thought I told you to zip it," he said.

"Actually, you told me to shut up."

"Then do it." The chief looked around his car for damage. "Y'all gonna git me fired. Hey, is that a bong?"

"Dern straight," the boy said. The chief backhanded him in the mouth.

"Told you to shut up," he said.

"But you asked a question."

"Not to you," the chief said. "Squiggy, you can't be doin this!"

"Is okey dokey, Porky. Wanna ride with us for a while?"

The chief looked back at the other car and waved it away. "Might as well. The wife's on the rag about everything today."

Squiggy unlocked the back door and the chief got in. The doors locked and Squiggy laughed.

"Now we got you," he said.

The chief laughed also, but was a little worried. "What do you mean by that?"

"You'll see."

"Gimme one of them beers," the chief said. The boy handed one back. "Y'all gonna have to stop playing cop now."

As if on cue, the dispatcher came back on the radio announcing an alarm at the branch bank on the north end of town.

Squiggy picked up the microphone. "That's a big ten-four, good buddy! We've got the metal to the petal and...dern, that ain't right. We's heading out...You the same chick we talked to earlier?"

"Afraid so."

"We's goin out?"

"Squiggy!" the chief yelped.

"Shut up, Porky. I'm trying to get some."

The radio kicked back to life. "You know that as long as you hold the button down I can hear everything you're saying."

"So you heard what I just said."

"Yes I did."

"Got a problem with it?"

Squiggy revved up the engine and took off, almost sliding into the ditch.

"Depends on what you look like," the dispatcher said.

"I'm tall, long hair and build like one of the chirpendale dancers."

The boy and chief laughed. The boy grabbed the microphone. "He's lying!"

"I figured as much," the dispatcher responded. "I figure you're short with a belly, losing your hair, drunk and haven't shaven in a week."

"How'd you know that?" Squiggy asked.

"I have my sources."

"C'mon now, tell me!" Squiggy pleaded. He had gotten back to the highway and was flying down the road.

"I got another call," she said.

As they approached the top of the hill and the road leading out to the lake, Squiggy had the car going about as fast as possible on the icey roads. There is a blind spot for drivers entering the highway. They have to proceed carefully to avoid a collision. As the police car neared the intersection, an old truck was coming toward them from the east. From the north, a 16-year old was driving his mother's car too fast. He had never driven on ice before and was rushing because he was late for work.

The man driving the truck from the east had the back loaded down with a round bale of hay. As he approached the stop sign, his worn out tires couldn't catch on the ice and the truck went into the intersection, into the direct line of the boy and the small car. The boy jerked his car to the left, right toward where the police car was heading.

"Look out!" the chief screamed.

"We's gonna wreck!" Squiggy hollered and jerked the wheel to the right.

"Cool," said the boy.

The truck caught the boy's car and sent it directly in the path of the police car. Squiggy managed to avoid the accident, but quickly realized he had lost control and this was going to be worse.

Chapter 37