Chapter 50
The words that Alexander just said seemed to linger in the air like a really stinky gasser.
“You guys kiss each other,” she said.
Squiggy and Mule glanced at each other with their mouths kind of hanging open like somebody just whopped them upside the head.
“You want us to kiss each other?” Squiggy said. She nodded. He shook his head. “No way! That’s gay!”
She started getting dressed again. “I guess we won’t be playing anymore.”
“I guess we won’t.”
Mule leaned forward in his seat. “Squiggy, why are you so against kissing me?”
Squiggy glared at his friend. “Uh, cause I ain’t no queer!”
“I’d kiss you if we could keep playing.”
“Ain’t gonna happen.”
Mule started to protest some more, but let it drop. He started missing the game and wanted to suggest a new start with rules against guy kissing, but Squiggy and the Hairy Chin chick seemed a little upset.
He wanted to do something to get everybody back in a good humor. Heck, he wasn’t in a bad mood. He had seen her naked and she had been rewarded with a nice rack. Now she was mad for some reason cause Squiggy wouldn’t kiss him.
“How come you wouldn’t kiss him?” she said.
“Cause,” Squiggy said. “You like watching guys doodle?”
“Actually, I do.”
Squiggy threw on the brakes and skidded off to the side of the road. “Get out!”
“Why?”
“Cause I said.”
Mule opened his door and got out. She almost looked like tears were imminent. “This ain’t right!” she said. “Dumping me on the interstate like this. I’m going to tell the cops that George Bush and Harry Dick raped me!”
“You do that,” Squiggy said. Mule climbed in the truck.
“I liked yer boobies!” he said as they drove off.
They started hitting the beer again while driving down the interstate. A little later, they took an exit to go on the Muskogee Turnpike. After passing by Muskogee, Mule saw a sign.
“A McDonald’s!” he hollered.
“So?”
“Can we stop? I’m kinder hungry after throwing up.”
“Crapfire, Mule. You’s worse than kids.”
“How’d you know that?”
“Uh, I don’t.”
They stopped at the McDonald’s located in the middle of the turnpike. There was a store on the other side. Several cars and trucks were parked. Mule was the first to notice.
“Lotta black people here,” he said.
“Don’t worry bout them,” Squiggy said. “They ain’t the gang type.”
“How do you know that?”
“Cause, they ain’t wearing snot rags on they’re heads.”
Mule seemed to accept that reasoning, for some reason. He went for another Big Mac, fries and a milkshake. Squiggy gave him some money and headed for the bathroom. He was in bad need of making a deposit, so Squiggy didn’t really mind stopping.
By the time he finished his business, Mule had finished his meal and was standing at the door, stuffing fries in his mouth.
“Let’s go,” Squiggy said. “How’d you get the extra fries?”
Mule was holding an extra container of fries in his left hand. “I caught this old dude looking the other direction and nabbed his fries.”
“Go give the old guy his fries back.”
“Why?”
“Dude’s probably like on a fixed income and coming to McDonald’s and eating fries might be the highlight of his week.”
“It’s okay, Squiggy. He was black.”
“Oh, okay. Let’s go.”
They took off again, tearing through the parking lot before regaining traffic. Over the last fifty miles, Mule had started waving at everybody they passed. Squiggy was about to get tired of it.
They passed some little car with several girls in it. He saw Mule waving at them and had enough. “Quit waving at everybody, Mule!”
“How come?”
“People just don’t do that.”
“We wave at people back at Langford.”
“That’s different,” Squiggy said. He saw his friend wave at another car. “Quit!”
“You oughta try this. Two different chicks have flashed me cause I waved at them.”
“Really?”
“Yep. Watch this!”
They were pulling up beside a Cadillac going much slower, more along the actual speed limits. Inside was an older woman.
“Crap, she’s like ancient,” Squiggy said. That didn’t stop Mule. He waved at the woman and was rewarded. Squiggy also got to see the old woman open her blouse.
“Ug,” Mule said. “I’m gonna quit waving now.”
They quickly made their way into Broken Arrow, a suburb of Tulsa. Traffic was a booger and Squiggy could only go seventy as he swerved in and out of traffic until reaching the exit for Memorial. He cut in front of a semi, almost causing the truck to wreck, to make sure he got the exit.
They hit the exit and turned. Traffic was thinning out quickly and Squiggy quickly made his way to the destination. Finally, they had arrived.
“Hooter’s!” Squiggy hollered.
“Yay!” Mule said. “Why are we coming here?”
“You’ll see just as soon as we get inside.”
The only parking spot was a handicapped one near the front door. Squiggy grabbed it, killed the engine and walked quickly to the front door, followed by Mule. They walked through the front door and Mule pulled up.
“Dadgum, look at all the big boobies!”
Squiggy smiled. He was truly in his nirvana, at least for the time being.
Chapter 51
“You guys kiss each other,” she said.
Squiggy and Mule glanced at each other with their mouths kind of hanging open like somebody just whopped them upside the head.
“You want us to kiss each other?” Squiggy said. She nodded. He shook his head. “No way! That’s gay!”
She started getting dressed again. “I guess we won’t be playing anymore.”
“I guess we won’t.”
Mule leaned forward in his seat. “Squiggy, why are you so against kissing me?”
Squiggy glared at his friend. “Uh, cause I ain’t no queer!”
“I’d kiss you if we could keep playing.”
“Ain’t gonna happen.”
Mule started to protest some more, but let it drop. He started missing the game and wanted to suggest a new start with rules against guy kissing, but Squiggy and the Hairy Chin chick seemed a little upset.
He wanted to do something to get everybody back in a good humor. Heck, he wasn’t in a bad mood. He had seen her naked and she had been rewarded with a nice rack. Now she was mad for some reason cause Squiggy wouldn’t kiss him.
“How come you wouldn’t kiss him?” she said.
“Cause,” Squiggy said. “You like watching guys doodle?”
“Actually, I do.”
Squiggy threw on the brakes and skidded off to the side of the road. “Get out!”
“Why?”
“Cause I said.”
Mule opened his door and got out. She almost looked like tears were imminent. “This ain’t right!” she said. “Dumping me on the interstate like this. I’m going to tell the cops that George Bush and Harry Dick raped me!”
“You do that,” Squiggy said. Mule climbed in the truck.
“I liked yer boobies!” he said as they drove off.
They started hitting the beer again while driving down the interstate. A little later, they took an exit to go on the Muskogee Turnpike. After passing by Muskogee, Mule saw a sign.
“A McDonald’s!” he hollered.
“So?”
“Can we stop? I’m kinder hungry after throwing up.”
“Crapfire, Mule. You’s worse than kids.”
“How’d you know that?”
“Uh, I don’t.”
They stopped at the McDonald’s located in the middle of the turnpike. There was a store on the other side. Several cars and trucks were parked. Mule was the first to notice.
“Lotta black people here,” he said.
“Don’t worry bout them,” Squiggy said. “They ain’t the gang type.”
“How do you know that?”
“Cause, they ain’t wearing snot rags on they’re heads.”
Mule seemed to accept that reasoning, for some reason. He went for another Big Mac, fries and a milkshake. Squiggy gave him some money and headed for the bathroom. He was in bad need of making a deposit, so Squiggy didn’t really mind stopping.
By the time he finished his business, Mule had finished his meal and was standing at the door, stuffing fries in his mouth.
“Let’s go,” Squiggy said. “How’d you get the extra fries?”
Mule was holding an extra container of fries in his left hand. “I caught this old dude looking the other direction and nabbed his fries.”
“Go give the old guy his fries back.”
“Why?”
“Dude’s probably like on a fixed income and coming to McDonald’s and eating fries might be the highlight of his week.”
“It’s okay, Squiggy. He was black.”
“Oh, okay. Let’s go.”
They took off again, tearing through the parking lot before regaining traffic. Over the last fifty miles, Mule had started waving at everybody they passed. Squiggy was about to get tired of it.
They passed some little car with several girls in it. He saw Mule waving at them and had enough. “Quit waving at everybody, Mule!”
“How come?”
“People just don’t do that.”
“We wave at people back at Langford.”
“That’s different,” Squiggy said. He saw his friend wave at another car. “Quit!”
“You oughta try this. Two different chicks have flashed me cause I waved at them.”
“Really?”
“Yep. Watch this!”
They were pulling up beside a Cadillac going much slower, more along the actual speed limits. Inside was an older woman.
“Crap, she’s like ancient,” Squiggy said. That didn’t stop Mule. He waved at the woman and was rewarded. Squiggy also got to see the old woman open her blouse.
“Ug,” Mule said. “I’m gonna quit waving now.”
They quickly made their way into Broken Arrow, a suburb of Tulsa. Traffic was a booger and Squiggy could only go seventy as he swerved in and out of traffic until reaching the exit for Memorial. He cut in front of a semi, almost causing the truck to wreck, to make sure he got the exit.
They hit the exit and turned. Traffic was thinning out quickly and Squiggy quickly made his way to the destination. Finally, they had arrived.
“Hooter’s!” Squiggy hollered.
“Yay!” Mule said. “Why are we coming here?”
“You’ll see just as soon as we get inside.”
The only parking spot was a handicapped one near the front door. Squiggy grabbed it, killed the engine and walked quickly to the front door, followed by Mule. They walked through the front door and Mule pulled up.
“Dadgum, look at all the big boobies!”
Squiggy smiled. He was truly in his nirvana, at least for the time being.
posted by Craig Hall at 4:20 AM
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