Chapter 10
Mule closed his eyes just before impact. He had never been run over before and wasn't exactly looking forward to the first time.
Squiggy's attention was divided. He realized the truck was heading to his new friend, but also hoped the deer didn't get too far away before his rifle was retrieved out of the runaway truck.
Red rushed forward, flailing her arms wildly. "No!" The dang truck was heading toward her man, specifically his mid-section.
There was one large thump followed by two smaller ones. The first big thump was the front tire running over Mule's prone body. The tire straightened him out and ran over him just below his belly. After the first one, Mule flipped over on his side, not a really smart move but not one he had a lot of time to think about, so the next tire came over both legs.
"Ugh!" he said. It had indeed been a rough night for old Mule. Red gives him a hickey, that his mother would not like, then he made whoopie with her, got caught up in a barbwire fence, fell off the fence on top of Barbie, now he got ran over by Squiggy's truck.
Squiggy's truck hit a small pine tree, stopping its progress just before getting to a big steep ditch.
"Oh no!" Red said, still running forward with one hand covering her mouth. This can't be happening. She still had plans for old Mule and now he might be dead, or seriously injured.
Squiggy started running also, right past the hurting Mule. "My truck!"
Red arrived next to Mule and squatted down. As Red did this, it struck her that she needed to empty her bladder.
"Just a sec, sweety," she said, stook back up and waddled over behind a tree, still moving like an old bullrider.
Mule watched her leave. "Where you goin, Red?"
She squatted down next to the tree. Her rear in plain sight. "Gotta pee!"
"Oh! Squiggy!"
"Just a sec!" Squiggy said. He was examining his truck. Luckily, it appeared the brush guard on the front had saved his truck from damage. Did do a number on the tree, though, snapped it right in half. He looked in the bed and made sure Psycho was okay. She leaned up and licked Squiggy's face.
Squiggy turned the ignition off and got a couple of beers. He popped the top on one and walked back to where Mule was lying on the ground, moaning loudly.
"Here's a beer!" Squiggy said. Mule was holding what looked like his privates and didn't seem all that interested in the beer. "Hey, you okay?"
"I's hurting, Squiggy," Mule said and moaned again.
Squiggy looked around. He saw what Red was doing. "Lookie there! You can see her cheeks!"
In the distance, a flashing light was coming toward them. Squiggy started to get worried that it might be a highway patrolman heading his way. As the car got closer, he realized there wasn't anything to worry about.
The police car skidded to a stop close enough that it threw some gravel on Mule and Squiggy. The door opened and Chief Arnold stepped out.
"Glad I caught you, boys!" he said. "You didn't leave me any beer."
"Way to go, Porky!" Squiggy said. "You threw gravel all over me!"
"Sorry. What happened here?"
It was indeed a strange sight. Mule appeared to be in great pain and Squiggy's truck had smashed into a tree. He looked around and also saw Red off doing her business.
"Hey, Red's taking a leak!" he said. "Whoo, boy, I see her cheeks!"
"Stop looking at my butt!" Red said. This just wasn't right. A woman couldn't even relieve herself in the ditch without men gawking at her. She finished up, grabbed a hand full of leaves and dried everything off.
"Hee hee!" the chief said. He looked down at Mule. "Dang, are them tire tracks on Mule?"
Squiggy looked at Mule and realized that there was a tire track, plainly evident on his leg.
"Now, that's cool!" Squiggy said. "Mule got runned over."
"You okay?" Red said. She came over and kneeled down beside Mule.
"Ugh," he said and rolled over on his back, still holding his privates. "I think I broke my goober!"
"No!" Red said.
Squiggy and the chief looked at each other. They both tried to stiffle a laugh. That wasn't something that happens all that often.
"You broke your tool?" the chief said.
Mule nodded. "Leg, too!"
"I better call for help," the chief said.
"You mean the cops?" Squiggy said.
"Naw, the ambulance."
"Yeah!" Red said.
"Naw, don't do that," Squiggy said. He had a deep fear that would bring the real law. Squiggy had his fair share of DUI's and wasn't wanting any more. "Shouldn't you be off arresting the Mexicans?"
"Naw, they's still in the bar. Don't worry, I won't let the hipos bust you."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, call them ambalance dudes. Maybe they can give him something for the pain." He realized there was something in his hand that would also help. "Here's you a beer, Mule."
Mule shook his head.
"Crapfire, he don't wanna beer," Squiggy said. "He must really be a hurtin."
"Must be," Chief Arnold said. "I'd kinda like that there beer."
"So would I," said Red, rubbing Mule's hair and messing it up even worse.
"Go gets your own," Squiggy said. He finished up the first beer and threw the can in the ditch. "I'll drink it."
The chief went off in search of a beer. As he got near the truck, Psycho went crazy, scaring the chief so badly his bladder also let go.
"Dadgum dog scared me so bad I peed myself again!" he said, taking a wide lane around the crazed puppy. Chief Arnold got a beer and walked back to the others.
"Where's my beer?" Red said.
The chief popped the top and took a big gulp. "In the truck."
"That wasn't very considerate," she said and lowered Mule's head to the ground. The chief got on his radio and called for an ambulance.
Red went and got her a beer then returned to her man. She got down on the ground, staring at Mule's injured area.
"I didn't think you could break a weenie," she said.
Mule nodded his head.
"I bet that hurt," the chief said. "I remember the last time the old lady kicked me in the cods. I was laid up for dern near a week."
"You figger they'll have to put it in a cast?" Squiggy said.
"Now, that'd be something!" the chief said, in between laughs. "I ain't signing it!"
"I ain't, neither," Squiggy said.
"I would," Red said. She was a little more concerned than the others. This could put Mule on the disabled list for way too long.
The ambulance must have been pretty close. They could see the lights approaching fast.
"Help's here, honey," Red said.
"Good," Mule said. He tried to turn his neck and got a bolt of pain. "Ugh."
The two EMT's jumped out of the ambulance, got their bags and walked up to Mule. It was a man and woman, wearing white shirts and black pants. The man looked like he was wearing some of his supper on his shirt.
"We were eating," the man said.
"We can see that," Squiggy said. "Chili dog?"
"Yep."
"Thought that was a chili stain on your shirt."
The woman was all business. "What seems to be the problem?"
"We think he broke his member," Red said.
The male EMT giggled. "Really?"
"Not funny," Mule managed to say. "I'z hurt."
The female EMT started examining him. "Looks like a broke leg. Ain't that a bone sticking out his leg?"
The others gathered closer. The male EMT got out a flashlight and put the beam on Mule's leg. There was some white showing up through the skin.
"Ooh, I'm gonna get sick!" he said and ran toward the ditch where Red had just relieved herself.
"He's new," the female EMT said, shaking her head.
"That's a little gross," the chief said.
"Can I touch it?" Squiggy said. "Ain't never touched a bone sticking through the skin fore."
"No!" Mule said.
"Best not," the female EMT said.
"Shouldn't you check out his thing?" Red said.
"Yeah. We'll have to cut his pants away."
"Good!" Red said, with way too much gusto.
"Hey, Bucky," the female EMT hollered at her helper, who had finally stopped dry heaving. "Go get me a rag outta the truck."
"Whadda ya need a rag for?" Squiggy said.
"It's to cover his penis. Don't want anybody driving by to see it."
"Better make it a towel," Chief Arnold said.
"Yeah, a big one," Squiggy said.
"I doubt that is necessary," she said, removed the clothes and gasped. "Oh my!"
Mule's member did seem to have a bend to it.
"Never seen one swell up like that," she said.
"Ain't swollen," Red said, eyeing the injured body part.
The female EMT seemed to be in a trance. They didn't prepare her for this at EMT school. "That's a big one!"
Chief Arnold was so stricken that he started backing up. He had heard rumors about Mule, but actually seeing it in person was too much. The chief tripped over one of the bags and fell back, hitting his head on the road.
The thud was almost as loud as when Squiggy's truck hit the tree. The chief was momentarily awake, seeing stars, then he passed out.
"You figger he's okay?" Squiggy said. "Go check him out, Bucky."
Bucky the male EMT walked past Mule and had to stop in his tracks. "What the crap is that?"
"That's his thing," Red said.
Bucky was also in a trance that took several seconds to snap out of. "I thought he was white?"
"He is," Squiggy said. "Kind of a freak of nature."
"I ain't no freak," Mule said.
Squiggy looks at the female EMT and says, "Sorry. Can you give him something for the pain? I might need a little shot, also. Back's kinda hurting."
"Were you in the wreck, sir?" the female EMT said.
"Naw, I hurt it fightin the cop."
"What were you fighting the policeman over?"
"You don't wanna know."
"Do you really need an examination?"
"Naw, just gimme some pain stuff. I kinda like them."
"No go," she said. "We better load him up and take him to the emergency room."
Mule started shaking his head.
"What's wrong, Mule?" Squiggy said.
"I can't afford no ambalance," he said.
"Don't worry, sir, I'm sure your insurance will cover most of it."
"Ain't got no insurance," he said.
"But sir, it's not that expensive."
"It was the last time Mommy got hauled off for overdosing on beer."
The female EMT thought about that. She remembered that case. Not a pretty scene.
"Sir, you need to get to the hospital quickly," she said.
"I can take him," Squiggy said.
Mule thought about that for a second. It was a better idea.
"Yeah, we can throw him in the back of the truck."
"His leg needs to be immoblized," she said. "It needs to have something on it to be stablizied."
"The thing, too," Red said.
"Do what you gotta do and we'll haul him," Squiggy said. The first rain drop fell, followed by several others.
"But it's starting to rain," she said.
"Good, it'll wash all that blood off."
Chief Arnold was still zonked. "We're going to need to transport the police officer also," the male EMT said.
The female EMT left and returned with an air cast to stablize the leg. She applied the cast and placed a towel over Mule's midsection.
"Aw, why'd you do that?" Red said.
The question was ignored. The EMT went back and got the dolly and rolled it beside Mule. "Help me put him on this."
"Get after it, Red," Squiggy said.
"Ain't you gonna help?" she said.
"Back's hurting and the chick won't gimme no meds."
The rain started falling heavier.
The two women strained to get Mule up.
"Boy, he's a big one," the female EMT said.
"You can say that again," Red said. The two women giggled.
Squiggy pitched in to help put Mule on the dolly. They pushed him over to the front of the truck.
"He ain't gonna fit," Red said.
"Put him in the back," Squiggy said.
"Can't I ride up front?" Mule said.
"Naw, might start bleeding again," Squiggy said.
"Sir, you need to lie down."
"Oh, okay."
"I'll lie down next to you," Red said.
"That ain't necessary."
They put him in the back of the truck. Psycho came over and started licking at Mule's face. Red sat down next to him. A gust of wind came along and scattered some of the trash and moved the towel off of Mule.
"Ain't you gonna cover him up?" Squiggy said.
Red looked disappointed. "Figger it'll just keep blowing off."
"Liar, you just wanna look at him."
"Please be careful andd drive slow," the EMT said as she walked back to help Bucky with the police chief.
Squiggy cranked up the engine and the CD player. He tore backwards in reverse and almost did a 360, nearly causing Mule to roll over.
"Slow down, you idiot!" Red said.
"Please!" Mule said. He could barely see the ambulance and decided this wasn't all that smart of a move.
Squiggy took off slowly but had the truck going almost seventy before they got back into town. It was a little bouncy, but fine until he hit a big pothole in front of the Dollar Store.
Chapter 11
Squiggy's attention was divided. He realized the truck was heading to his new friend, but also hoped the deer didn't get too far away before his rifle was retrieved out of the runaway truck.
Red rushed forward, flailing her arms wildly. "No!" The dang truck was heading toward her man, specifically his mid-section.
There was one large thump followed by two smaller ones. The first big thump was the front tire running over Mule's prone body. The tire straightened him out and ran over him just below his belly. After the first one, Mule flipped over on his side, not a really smart move but not one he had a lot of time to think about, so the next tire came over both legs.
"Ugh!" he said. It had indeed been a rough night for old Mule. Red gives him a hickey, that his mother would not like, then he made whoopie with her, got caught up in a barbwire fence, fell off the fence on top of Barbie, now he got ran over by Squiggy's truck.
Squiggy's truck hit a small pine tree, stopping its progress just before getting to a big steep ditch.
"Oh no!" Red said, still running forward with one hand covering her mouth. This can't be happening. She still had plans for old Mule and now he might be dead, or seriously injured.
Squiggy started running also, right past the hurting Mule. "My truck!"
Red arrived next to Mule and squatted down. As Red did this, it struck her that she needed to empty her bladder.
"Just a sec, sweety," she said, stook back up and waddled over behind a tree, still moving like an old bullrider.
Mule watched her leave. "Where you goin, Red?"
She squatted down next to the tree. Her rear in plain sight. "Gotta pee!"
"Oh! Squiggy!"
"Just a sec!" Squiggy said. He was examining his truck. Luckily, it appeared the brush guard on the front had saved his truck from damage. Did do a number on the tree, though, snapped it right in half. He looked in the bed and made sure Psycho was okay. She leaned up and licked Squiggy's face.
Squiggy turned the ignition off and got a couple of beers. He popped the top on one and walked back to where Mule was lying on the ground, moaning loudly.
"Here's a beer!" Squiggy said. Mule was holding what looked like his privates and didn't seem all that interested in the beer. "Hey, you okay?"
"I's hurting, Squiggy," Mule said and moaned again.
Squiggy looked around. He saw what Red was doing. "Lookie there! You can see her cheeks!"
In the distance, a flashing light was coming toward them. Squiggy started to get worried that it might be a highway patrolman heading his way. As the car got closer, he realized there wasn't anything to worry about.
The police car skidded to a stop close enough that it threw some gravel on Mule and Squiggy. The door opened and Chief Arnold stepped out.
"Glad I caught you, boys!" he said. "You didn't leave me any beer."
"Way to go, Porky!" Squiggy said. "You threw gravel all over me!"
"Sorry. What happened here?"
It was indeed a strange sight. Mule appeared to be in great pain and Squiggy's truck had smashed into a tree. He looked around and also saw Red off doing her business.
"Hey, Red's taking a leak!" he said. "Whoo, boy, I see her cheeks!"
"Stop looking at my butt!" Red said. This just wasn't right. A woman couldn't even relieve herself in the ditch without men gawking at her. She finished up, grabbed a hand full of leaves and dried everything off.
"Hee hee!" the chief said. He looked down at Mule. "Dang, are them tire tracks on Mule?"
Squiggy looked at Mule and realized that there was a tire track, plainly evident on his leg.
"Now, that's cool!" Squiggy said. "Mule got runned over."
"You okay?" Red said. She came over and kneeled down beside Mule.
"Ugh," he said and rolled over on his back, still holding his privates. "I think I broke my goober!"
"No!" Red said.
Squiggy and the chief looked at each other. They both tried to stiffle a laugh. That wasn't something that happens all that often.
"You broke your tool?" the chief said.
Mule nodded. "Leg, too!"
"I better call for help," the chief said.
"You mean the cops?" Squiggy said.
"Naw, the ambulance."
"Yeah!" Red said.
"Naw, don't do that," Squiggy said. He had a deep fear that would bring the real law. Squiggy had his fair share of DUI's and wasn't wanting any more. "Shouldn't you be off arresting the Mexicans?"
"Naw, they's still in the bar. Don't worry, I won't let the hipos bust you."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, call them ambalance dudes. Maybe they can give him something for the pain." He realized there was something in his hand that would also help. "Here's you a beer, Mule."
Mule shook his head.
"Crapfire, he don't wanna beer," Squiggy said. "He must really be a hurtin."
"Must be," Chief Arnold said. "I'd kinda like that there beer."
"So would I," said Red, rubbing Mule's hair and messing it up even worse.
"Go gets your own," Squiggy said. He finished up the first beer and threw the can in the ditch. "I'll drink it."
The chief went off in search of a beer. As he got near the truck, Psycho went crazy, scaring the chief so badly his bladder also let go.
"Dadgum dog scared me so bad I peed myself again!" he said, taking a wide lane around the crazed puppy. Chief Arnold got a beer and walked back to the others.
"Where's my beer?" Red said.
The chief popped the top and took a big gulp. "In the truck."
"That wasn't very considerate," she said and lowered Mule's head to the ground. The chief got on his radio and called for an ambulance.
Red went and got her a beer then returned to her man. She got down on the ground, staring at Mule's injured area.
"I didn't think you could break a weenie," she said.
Mule nodded his head.
"I bet that hurt," the chief said. "I remember the last time the old lady kicked me in the cods. I was laid up for dern near a week."
"You figger they'll have to put it in a cast?" Squiggy said.
"Now, that'd be something!" the chief said, in between laughs. "I ain't signing it!"
"I ain't, neither," Squiggy said.
"I would," Red said. She was a little more concerned than the others. This could put Mule on the disabled list for way too long.
The ambulance must have been pretty close. They could see the lights approaching fast.
"Help's here, honey," Red said.
"Good," Mule said. He tried to turn his neck and got a bolt of pain. "Ugh."
The two EMT's jumped out of the ambulance, got their bags and walked up to Mule. It was a man and woman, wearing white shirts and black pants. The man looked like he was wearing some of his supper on his shirt.
"We were eating," the man said.
"We can see that," Squiggy said. "Chili dog?"
"Yep."
"Thought that was a chili stain on your shirt."
The woman was all business. "What seems to be the problem?"
"We think he broke his member," Red said.
The male EMT giggled. "Really?"
"Not funny," Mule managed to say. "I'z hurt."
The female EMT started examining him. "Looks like a broke leg. Ain't that a bone sticking out his leg?"
The others gathered closer. The male EMT got out a flashlight and put the beam on Mule's leg. There was some white showing up through the skin.
"Ooh, I'm gonna get sick!" he said and ran toward the ditch where Red had just relieved herself.
"He's new," the female EMT said, shaking her head.
"That's a little gross," the chief said.
"Can I touch it?" Squiggy said. "Ain't never touched a bone sticking through the skin fore."
"No!" Mule said.
"Best not," the female EMT said.
"Shouldn't you check out his thing?" Red said.
"Yeah. We'll have to cut his pants away."
"Good!" Red said, with way too much gusto.
"Hey, Bucky," the female EMT hollered at her helper, who had finally stopped dry heaving. "Go get me a rag outta the truck."
"Whadda ya need a rag for?" Squiggy said.
"It's to cover his penis. Don't want anybody driving by to see it."
"Better make it a towel," Chief Arnold said.
"Yeah, a big one," Squiggy said.
"I doubt that is necessary," she said, removed the clothes and gasped. "Oh my!"
Mule's member did seem to have a bend to it.
"Never seen one swell up like that," she said.
"Ain't swollen," Red said, eyeing the injured body part.
The female EMT seemed to be in a trance. They didn't prepare her for this at EMT school. "That's a big one!"
Chief Arnold was so stricken that he started backing up. He had heard rumors about Mule, but actually seeing it in person was too much. The chief tripped over one of the bags and fell back, hitting his head on the road.
The thud was almost as loud as when Squiggy's truck hit the tree. The chief was momentarily awake, seeing stars, then he passed out.
"You figger he's okay?" Squiggy said. "Go check him out, Bucky."
Bucky the male EMT walked past Mule and had to stop in his tracks. "What the crap is that?"
"That's his thing," Red said.
Bucky was also in a trance that took several seconds to snap out of. "I thought he was white?"
"He is," Squiggy said. "Kind of a freak of nature."
"I ain't no freak," Mule said.
Squiggy looks at the female EMT and says, "Sorry. Can you give him something for the pain? I might need a little shot, also. Back's kinda hurting."
"Were you in the wreck, sir?" the female EMT said.
"Naw, I hurt it fightin the cop."
"What were you fighting the policeman over?"
"You don't wanna know."
"Do you really need an examination?"
"Naw, just gimme some pain stuff. I kinda like them."
"No go," she said. "We better load him up and take him to the emergency room."
Mule started shaking his head.
"What's wrong, Mule?" Squiggy said.
"I can't afford no ambalance," he said.
"Don't worry, sir, I'm sure your insurance will cover most of it."
"Ain't got no insurance," he said.
"But sir, it's not that expensive."
"It was the last time Mommy got hauled off for overdosing on beer."
The female EMT thought about that. She remembered that case. Not a pretty scene.
"Sir, you need to get to the hospital quickly," she said.
"I can take him," Squiggy said.
Mule thought about that for a second. It was a better idea.
"Yeah, we can throw him in the back of the truck."
"His leg needs to be immoblized," she said. "It needs to have something on it to be stablizied."
"The thing, too," Red said.
"Do what you gotta do and we'll haul him," Squiggy said. The first rain drop fell, followed by several others.
"But it's starting to rain," she said.
"Good, it'll wash all that blood off."
Chief Arnold was still zonked. "We're going to need to transport the police officer also," the male EMT said.
The female EMT left and returned with an air cast to stablize the leg. She applied the cast and placed a towel over Mule's midsection.
"Aw, why'd you do that?" Red said.
The question was ignored. The EMT went back and got the dolly and rolled it beside Mule. "Help me put him on this."
"Get after it, Red," Squiggy said.
"Ain't you gonna help?" she said.
"Back's hurting and the chick won't gimme no meds."
The rain started falling heavier.
The two women strained to get Mule up.
"Boy, he's a big one," the female EMT said.
"You can say that again," Red said. The two women giggled.
Squiggy pitched in to help put Mule on the dolly. They pushed him over to the front of the truck.
"He ain't gonna fit," Red said.
"Put him in the back," Squiggy said.
"Can't I ride up front?" Mule said.
"Naw, might start bleeding again," Squiggy said.
"Sir, you need to lie down."
"Oh, okay."
"I'll lie down next to you," Red said.
"That ain't necessary."
They put him in the back of the truck. Psycho came over and started licking at Mule's face. Red sat down next to him. A gust of wind came along and scattered some of the trash and moved the towel off of Mule.
"Ain't you gonna cover him up?" Squiggy said.
Red looked disappointed. "Figger it'll just keep blowing off."
"Liar, you just wanna look at him."
"Please be careful andd drive slow," the EMT said as she walked back to help Bucky with the police chief.
Squiggy cranked up the engine and the CD player. He tore backwards in reverse and almost did a 360, nearly causing Mule to roll over.
"Slow down, you idiot!" Red said.
"Please!" Mule said. He could barely see the ambulance and decided this wasn't all that smart of a move.
Squiggy took off slowly but had the truck going almost seventy before they got back into town. It was a little bouncy, but fine until he hit a big pothole in front of the Dollar Store.
posted by Craig Hall at 3:21 AM
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