Chapter 11

Squiggy was not the type of man who liked people to question his intelligence. As far as he was concerned, his brain's capacity might not be as high as some others, but it wasn't something that needed to be pointed out.

That's what hacked him off after hitting a bump so hard that it sent Mule airborne in the back of the truck, high enough that his passenger was a good three feet up. This, of course, was not good considering Mule had a broken leg and a possible fracture of another key body part.

"Slow down, you fool!" Red hollered.

Squiggy threw on the brakes, a little too hard when he heard Mule's head slam into the truck bed.

"Ugh," Mule muttered. "That done hurt, Squiggy!"

"Sorry, Mule," Squiggy said. "Get yer freckly butt outta the truck, Red!"

She was left with her mouth open. "How come?"

"Ain't gonna let some chick call me an 'idiot'!"

"I didn't call youse an idiot."

"Yeah you did!"

"I called you a fool."

"Same difference. Get out, woman!"

Red was not really enjoying this ride in the back of a truck with the rain pouring down and the cold weather coming in, but she still had to protect her new man.

"Sorry, Squiggy," she said with great pain. "I gotta hold Mule."

"You ain't doing much of a job," Squiggy fired back.

"Just slow down, please. Can I still ride with Mule?"

Squiggy thought about it for a few seconds. His head looking through the open sliding glass window. "I guess, just don't be sayin I'm stupid. Promise?"

Red had to wipe the rain out of her face. Her hair was drenched and she was cold. "Okay."

Squiggy saw his dog in the corner, wet and shaking. "Poor Psycho!"

Red didn't really appreciate Squiggy being more worried about his dog than about her and Mule, but considered the source and let it go.

"C'mon here, girl!" he said. Pyscho got up and jumped through the window, barely squeezing through. He poured some beer in his hand and let her gulp it out. "At's a good girl!"

Red thought that was disgusting but held her mouth in check, a difficult act for her. She knew Squiggy wasn't going to put up with any more comments.

They took off again with Squiggy slowing down a little. He avoided the other potholes and shortly arrived on the highway.

Mule was hurting bad. The female EMT had given him a pain shot, one that not yet kicked in. He wondered if it had been a good idea to lie about not having alcohol. She had told him it wasn't a good idea to mix alcohol and pain medicine, but he was confident his system could handle it.

Some fifteen minutes later, they arrived at the front of the hospital. Squiggy pulled up the sidewalk and got out of the truck.

"Why didn't you go to the emergency entrance?" Red asked.

"Uh, heck if I know," Squiggy said. "Guess that might be where we should go. Where is it?"

"Read the sign," she said and pointed at the large one just to the left.

"That one there?"

"Yeah, the one that has an arrow and says 'Emergency Room'."

"Oh, I thought it said something else."

Red realized that Squiggy probably couldn't even read the words, but let it pass. She had pushed Squiggy too much tonight and didn't want to have to walk back to Langford, especially in the rain.

Squiggy fired the truck up again and tore around the parking lot, narrowly avoiding an old man using a walker.

"Get outta the way, you geezer!" he shouted out the window. The old man shook his fist at Squiggy and said something. Squiggy stopped the truck. "What'd you say old man?"

The old man starting backing up, not making good time with his walker. This man appeared to be quite angry. "Nothing."

"You better keep your mouth shut," Squiggy hollered as he eased away. "I'll hit you over the head with your walker."

This bothered Red, also, something she had discovered came in waves when around Squiggy. They finally pulled up in front of the emergency room. She jumped out of the truck and walked up to the door, expecting it to open. When the door stayed shut, she walked smack into the glass.

"Oof!" she said, causing Squiggy to giggle.

"Now that was funny, eh Mule?" he said.

Mule didn't answer. He didn't see Red slam into the door and was beyond caring. The pain medicine was kicking in and Mule was sinking into dreamland.

Red started pounding on the door. There was a nurse standing inside staring at them, wondering if now was a good time to call security. Some drenched woman was pounding at their door, looking rather insane. Finally, she hit the button that opened the door.

Red came storming in, rubbing the knot rising on her forehead. "We gots an emergency!"

"And that's why you came to the emergency room?" the nurse asked. She was a thin woman with a chin that jutted out far enough that it almost looked like the end of a pencil. Her blonde hair was put back in a ponytail. She was a little plump and tired. It had been a long night and the nurse was ready to leave.

"Yeah! Get out there and get him!"

"Get who?"

"Mule."

"You should take a mule to the vet. This is a hospital."

Red shook her head. "Naw, his name's 'Mule'. He's my new feller."

The nurse walked toward the door. "What's wrong with him?"

"Got a broke leg and weenie."

That caused the nurse to throw on the brakes. "He's got a broke what?"

"His tool's broke."

"You mean his penis?" the nurse asked, trying not to laugh. That was not something she had run across previously.

"Yeah."

Red escorted the nurse out to the truck. Mule was starting to sing an old George Strait song. Squiggy was standing next to the truck, humming along with the tune. At least until he saw the nurse. Her bosoms were rather pronounced in the outfit.

"Holy cow!" Squiggy said. "Mule, look at that rack!"

Mule tried to raise up. Everything was getting a little blurry. "I can't see them!"

"They's big."

The nurse heard the last comment and was not pleased. Yes, she was blessed with large bosoms and did not care for the way guys were attracted to them. She ignored Squiggy and looked in the back of the truck.

"How come you made him ride in the back of the truck?" she asked. The poor man needed proper transportation, not in the back of a truck.

"Couldn't afford an ambulance," Red said.

The nurse nodded, wondering how they could afford a trip to the emergency room if the man couldn't pay for a trip in the ambulance.

"Let me see the injury," she said, looking at the injured man. He had a towel over his midsection. Red climbed in the back of the truck and removed the towel. The nurse had to jump back. That couldn't be real. She squinted her eyes. Now that could just about make her reconsider her decision to be with women. "Is that thing real?"

"Yeah, it is!" Red said proudly.

"Boy, he's got a big one."

Red and the nurse stared at Mule for a lot longer than Squiggy thought was necessary. "Stop staring at his tool and get him some help."

"Oh, okay," the nurse replied. "Let me, uh, go get somebody to, uh help."

Squiggy fell in beside her. "I'm Squiggy."

The nurse nodded. She could care less about him. Her thoughts were filled with what she had just seen. Good thing she had a camera phone.

"What's your name?" Squiggy asked. He had a thing for nurses, one that had never been satisfied.

"Uh, Katherine."

"Nice to meet you, Katherine. Want a beer?"

She cast him a dirty look, one that failed to bother him. "No, I don't want a beer. I'm working."

"That never stops me."

That was not a surprise. He followed her into the emergency room. She called for some help and got a bed. An orderly fell in beside her, a young man who was also questioning his sexual preference. This should be good, she thought.

Squiggy eyed the young man with scorn. Something was amiss with this guy. He was almost pretty. A little guy with his hair cut in some fancy design that bothered Squiggy.

"Where you going after work?" Squiggy said.

"I don't have plans," the orderly said.

"Not you, the chick."

"I'll probably go home to bed," Katherine the nurse said.

That sounded like a good idea to Squiggy. "Want some company?"

"I have some company waiting at home."

"Lucky feller." The little orderly giggled. "What's so funny?"

"It's not a guy," he said.

Squiggy almost dropped his beer. "You mean you like chicks?"

"Yes, I do," she said.

A devious smile magically jumped on Squiggy's face, "How come?"

"Cause of guys like you."

That hurt Squiggy. A frown quickly replaced his smile. He had never even met her before and was being blamed for her lesbianism. At least he still had his beer. Plus, maybe he could give old Red a shot. They arrived back at his truck and the orderly was busy getting the bed ready when he happened to glance at the injured man.

"Wow!" he said. The orderly had dreamed of guys like this and here one was.

"Calm down, Christopher," Katherine said.

"But...look!"

She did look again, pausing the rescue of Mule. Katherine licked her lips, something that Squiggy noticed.

"I thought you liked chicks?" he asked.

The nurse shook her head and went back to helping Mule.

"You like women?" asked Red, who was not all that discriminating on who she shared a bed with.

"Uh, yes."

Squiggy had enough of this. They needed to get Mule loaded up so he could leave. Big Uns might be getting lonely enough that she wouldn't run him off.

"Red, put that towel back over Mule so they'll get back to helping him," Squiggy said.

Red followed his instructions. She could see the disappointment on the medical staff. That prompted Katherine and the orderly to get Mule on the gurney and move him inside the hospital. He was still singing, now a Garth Brooks song about friends in low places.

"He's a good singer," the orderly commented. "I like his voice."

"That ain't all you like about him," Squiggy said. Was it that obvious, the orderly wondered? Oh well.

"We need to get him checked in," Katherine said. She moved him near the check-in desk. A portly woman with fluffy hair was filing her fake nails and didn't seem all that thrilled about having to do her job.

She fired up the computer and started to process Mule.

"What's your name?" she asked, in a husky voice that seemed to bounce off the walls.

"It's Mule," Squiggy said.

"His name's 'Mule'?"

"Yep."

"What's his real name?"

"Beats me."

"Sir, can you hear me?" Mule nodded. "What's your name?"

"Mule," he said.

"No, your real name. What is it?"

Mule shrugged and went back to singing.

"Can I see your license?" she asked.

"Ain't got one," Mule said.

"We need some kind of identification, sir."

Mule pulled out his wallet and handed over his identification card. The receptionist filled out the information.

"Sir, can I see your insurance card?" she asked.

"Ain't got one," he said and started humming.

"How do you plan on paying for your visit?"

"I'll let the state take care of it. I get aid."

The receptionist sighed. Another one of them! "Who will sign as the responsible party?"

Mule looked at Squiggy. "What does that mean?" Squiggy asked.

"It means that if the state doesn't pay, you will."

"Heck if I know. Better ask Red."

Mule looked hurt. "Your truck ran me over."

Squiggy nodded. He did feel this was partly his fault. "Okay, put me down."

"Good," the receptionist said. She needed to get them out of here so she could get back to filing her nails and surfing the net. "What's your name, sir?"

"It's, uh, Brent Musberger."

Mule thought someething wasn't right here, but kept his mouth shut.

"Mister Musberger, do you have some identification?"

Squiggy was trying to look through the window at the nurse again. When she turned just a little, he got a good look down her shirt.

"Mister Musberger!"

Squiggy failed to respond, which made sense as it was not his name.

"Squiggy," Mule said, causing his new friend to look at the receptionist.

"Do you have some identification?" she asked.

Uh oh, this wasn't good, Squiggy thought. "I, uh, lost it at the accident."

The receptionist nodded and went to make a copy of some papers.

"I didn't know your name was Brent Musburger," Mule said.

"It ain't," Squiggy said. He pulled out his tobacco and loaded up a big chew.

"Who's Brent Mustardburger?"

"A football announcer."

"You mean you lied?"

"Yeah, for the most part."

Mule smiled and started humming again. Squiggy noticed that several nurses were standing around Katherine, who had her hands spread apart like she was describing some big fish. A couple of the nurses tried to sneak a look at the new patient.

"I wonder how I'll pee," Mule said.

"Probably with your feller there," Squiggy advised. How else could a man urinate?

"Naw, I mean if they puts a cast on my member?"

"Beats me. They better order some more plaster."

The receptionist finished up the paper work and told them they could proceed. Katherine took Mule into a room, followed by at least five other nurses.

Mule had a sad look on his face, one that was much different than the way the nurses looked. "Bye, Squiggy."

"Catch you later, buddy."

Chapter 12