Chapter 46
Squiggy and Mule were changed men throughout the summer, foregoing their usual beer drinking and woman chasing to work constantly on the house on the ridge.
Every day, they moved closer to completing it. They were really the only ones who knew what a gem they were building as they kept to themselves for the most part. Whenever Squiggy wasn’t at his real job, he was working on the house.
Mule didn’t have a job to take him away from the house. So he spent even more time than Squiggy trying to finish the house. Some days, he worked from the time his eyes opened until it got dark in the hot summer heat. It left him some wore out that Mule would sleep on the floor.
Squiggy got tired of seeing his friend sleep on the floor so he broke down and bought a used mattress. He was more than happy to provide his friend food, drinks and a place to sleep.
The sale of cheap beer in Langford dipped so drastically that the local distributor tried to find out what was happening.They seldom even drank beer any more, preferring water and sport drinks to get them some energy.
Finally, one day in late August, our two guys were growing restless, tired of hanging cabinets and trim board. The house was complete for the most part, only lacking some plumbing and a septic tank. The refuse was currently going out a pipe and over the ridge, something that Mule doubted the Department of Environmental Quality would approve.
You could actually stand out near the ridge and if somebody flushed, see the urine or a turd come sailing through the air, not the most attractive sight, Mule decided.
The boys needed a break. Squiggy came up with an idea.
“You ever been to Tulsa?” he said.
“Naw, heard of it,” Mule said.
Squiggy was trying to be a kinder person of late since Mule was so much help so he neglected to say anything about his friend’s comment.
“I think we need to go on a road trip,” Squiggy said.
Mule perked up. They were installing a ceiling fan in the family room, the final touch to have this room ready. The room was empty for the most part, aside from Mule’s mattress in the corner. He had a night light next to his mattress since Mule was scared of the dark. Mule had borrowed a couple of magazines from Squiggy’s collection. Since he couldn’t read, it wasn’t for the stories.
“Cool!” Mule said. He had never been on one, but it sure sounded fun. “Where we goin?”
“Uh, Tulsa.”
“Where’s Tulsa?”
“North of here.”
Mule pursed his lips. That would work. He needed to see the sights and become more educated like his friend Squiggy. “How far’s Tulsa?”
“Probably a couple cases away.”
Mule had to calculate the distance. “Dang, that’s almost two hours.”
“Give er take.”
“What?”
“I said give er take.”
“What’re you giving or taking?” Mule said. He was totally confused.
“Nothing. I meant that was about how long it would take.”
Mule was standing on a stepladder. He reached up and grabbed a wire that promptly shocked him bad enough to knock him off the ladder and make all his hair stand up.
Squiggy tried to restrain himself but could not keep from laughing. “I smell Mule sizzle!”
The blow from the electricity had knocked Mule to the ground. “Tttthhhaaat hhhhuuuurrrt!”
“Told you we needed to cut the lectricity.”
Mule was still shaking. “Man, I got goosed!”
“Yeah, you did. Gonna live?”
“I figger.” He looked down at his bare feet. “Is my feet smokin?”
Squiggy looked but refused to get close because of the foot odor Mule possessed. “Naw, I think that’s just the smell escaping.”
Mule seemed to accept that reasoning. “When we goin?”
“As soon as we get ready.”
“Cool! I’ll go jump in the pond.”
“Mule, you can use the shower.”
He failed to hide his disappointment. “Oh, okay. I’ll take a shower.”
As he walked off down the hall, Mule was shaking his head. He loved jumping in the pond to clean up or cool off. Just a few days earlier, a water moccasin got after him. Squiggy didn’t know his friend could move that fast. Mule was practically running on the water, hollering “snakes after me!” loud enough that people in town could probably hear him.
Ever since that day, Mule would get one of Squiggy’s high-powered rifles and go down to the pond, hunting for snakes. He had shot at several turtles but apparently the snakes were smart enough not to be seen when a crazed man was after them with a sniper rifle.
Mule was heading for the guest bathroom. Squiggy walked down the hall and entered his bedroom. He was so proud of this place. Squiggy even had a bed, dresser and a television hooked up to satellite in the corner. There was a large mirror directly over the bed that confused Mule when they hung it.
“Why’d you want a dadgummed mirror above your bed?” he had asked.
Squiggy just smiled. He had always wanted a mirror above his bed so he could watch his partner get busy. Now, all he needed was a partner to get busy with. His bed was so huge that it almost took up most of the room. He slipped between the bed and the dresser and walked into the bathroom.
He had gone overboard on the bathroom, buying all the most expensive fixtures and the most comfortable toilet Squiggy had ever parked on. Everything was still nice and clean, only a slight case of shower gook forming in the corners.
Squiggy quickly showered, even using shampoo and soap. He finished and stood in front of the mirror. His hair was a little long in the back now and a tad unruly everywhere else, aside from the front where most of the hair was gone. He put the back in a ponytail. Mule thought it looked silly to wear his hair in a ponytail when it barely went over his collar, but Squiggy thought it was cool.
He found a pair of jeans on the floor that didn’t appear to be all that dirty and put them on over a pair of boxers. Squiggy grabbed a tee-shirt out of the dresser, an old ZZ-Top one advertising some concert series in the late 1980s. He looked at himself in the mirror and realized the shirt had seen better days, not that Squiggy cared.
Squiggy walked into the closet and grabbed his cleanest hat, a white one advertising the branch bank on the highway. His buddy, Swifty, had given him the hat last week and Squiggy had worn it every day since then.
He had even worn it in the Bank of Langford, hoping it would bother the workers. The only thing that seemed to bother them was him. Squiggy saw the president sneaking back into his office, the man who had stolen his home and dirty magazine collection! Well, Squiggy had shown him, by gosh, stealing the collection back.
Squiggy stuck his head in the president’s office. “I heard you’s having a party in your mouth.”
The president was a man only a little older than Squiggy. He really wished they had security at this moment. His hair was combed over, trying to cover the baldness, making it look like he had a football helmet. “Er, I wasn’t aware of a party,” Allen Woodard said.
“Yep, everybody’s comin.”
Squiggy giggled and walked along the teller line, flirting with the tellers before leaving. Nobody seemed to mind him wearing the hat of the competition, dang it! He hung out at the front door for a little while, telling all the customers coming to the bank that they should move their accounts to the branch bank.
He did this two or three times a week, just for the heck of it. Squiggy shared his story about losing his home to anybody who would listen and how hard it was on him to come home from work one day and find his home had been stolen.
Squiggy didn’t bother telling the people that he was blitzed that day so bad he hit a tree while driving home or that he was three months late on his payment.
Satisfied with his appearance, he walked into the kitchen. There was a huge fridge next to the stove. He checked out the beer situation. It was a little low so he walked through the laundry room into the garage. Squiggy had bought two other refrigerators that he kept in the garage as backup.
They were both filled with beer. He grabbed an ice chest and loaded it full of beer and ice. It was so heavy that it was hard for him to load it in the front cab of the truck.
Squiggy walked back into the house and found Mule in the kitchen. He had the fridge open and was scratching his crotch. Mule was going with his patented camo look today. A camo tee-shirt with the sleeves cut off that was a little small, revealing a little belly fat. The shorts were also a little small and cut off high on his thights.
Mule topped off his clothing line by wearing a pair of hunting books with white socks that stretched to his knees.
He saw Squiggy and turned to look at his friends. Mule held his arms out. “Figger the Tulsa chicks can resist me?”
“I imagine yer gonna be the topic of a lotta conversations,” Squiggy said. “Let’s roll!”
“What’re we gonna roll?”
“Nothing. Let’s go!”
Mule slammed the fridge door. “I’s hungry, Squiggy!”
“We’ll stop at the King and get something to eat.”
That put a smile on the Mule’s face. A road trip, lots of beer and they were going to stop at Burger King! Could life get any better?
Chapter 47
Every day, they moved closer to completing it. They were really the only ones who knew what a gem they were building as they kept to themselves for the most part. Whenever Squiggy wasn’t at his real job, he was working on the house.
Mule didn’t have a job to take him away from the house. So he spent even more time than Squiggy trying to finish the house. Some days, he worked from the time his eyes opened until it got dark in the hot summer heat. It left him some wore out that Mule would sleep on the floor.
Squiggy got tired of seeing his friend sleep on the floor so he broke down and bought a used mattress. He was more than happy to provide his friend food, drinks and a place to sleep.
The sale of cheap beer in Langford dipped so drastically that the local distributor tried to find out what was happening.They seldom even drank beer any more, preferring water and sport drinks to get them some energy.
Finally, one day in late August, our two guys were growing restless, tired of hanging cabinets and trim board. The house was complete for the most part, only lacking some plumbing and a septic tank. The refuse was currently going out a pipe and over the ridge, something that Mule doubted the Department of Environmental Quality would approve.
You could actually stand out near the ridge and if somebody flushed, see the urine or a turd come sailing through the air, not the most attractive sight, Mule decided.
The boys needed a break. Squiggy came up with an idea.
“You ever been to Tulsa?” he said.
“Naw, heard of it,” Mule said.
Squiggy was trying to be a kinder person of late since Mule was so much help so he neglected to say anything about his friend’s comment.
“I think we need to go on a road trip,” Squiggy said.
Mule perked up. They were installing a ceiling fan in the family room, the final touch to have this room ready. The room was empty for the most part, aside from Mule’s mattress in the corner. He had a night light next to his mattress since Mule was scared of the dark. Mule had borrowed a couple of magazines from Squiggy’s collection. Since he couldn’t read, it wasn’t for the stories.
“Cool!” Mule said. He had never been on one, but it sure sounded fun. “Where we goin?”
“Uh, Tulsa.”
“Where’s Tulsa?”
“North of here.”
Mule pursed his lips. That would work. He needed to see the sights and become more educated like his friend Squiggy. “How far’s Tulsa?”
“Probably a couple cases away.”
Mule had to calculate the distance. “Dang, that’s almost two hours.”
“Give er take.”
“What?”
“I said give er take.”
“What’re you giving or taking?” Mule said. He was totally confused.
“Nothing. I meant that was about how long it would take.”
Mule was standing on a stepladder. He reached up and grabbed a wire that promptly shocked him bad enough to knock him off the ladder and make all his hair stand up.
Squiggy tried to restrain himself but could not keep from laughing. “I smell Mule sizzle!”
The blow from the electricity had knocked Mule to the ground. “Tttthhhaaat hhhhuuuurrrt!”
“Told you we needed to cut the lectricity.”
Mule was still shaking. “Man, I got goosed!”
“Yeah, you did. Gonna live?”
“I figger.” He looked down at his bare feet. “Is my feet smokin?”
Squiggy looked but refused to get close because of the foot odor Mule possessed. “Naw, I think that’s just the smell escaping.”
Mule seemed to accept that reasoning. “When we goin?”
“As soon as we get ready.”
“Cool! I’ll go jump in the pond.”
“Mule, you can use the shower.”
He failed to hide his disappointment. “Oh, okay. I’ll take a shower.”
As he walked off down the hall, Mule was shaking his head. He loved jumping in the pond to clean up or cool off. Just a few days earlier, a water moccasin got after him. Squiggy didn’t know his friend could move that fast. Mule was practically running on the water, hollering “snakes after me!” loud enough that people in town could probably hear him.
Ever since that day, Mule would get one of Squiggy’s high-powered rifles and go down to the pond, hunting for snakes. He had shot at several turtles but apparently the snakes were smart enough not to be seen when a crazed man was after them with a sniper rifle.
Mule was heading for the guest bathroom. Squiggy walked down the hall and entered his bedroom. He was so proud of this place. Squiggy even had a bed, dresser and a television hooked up to satellite in the corner. There was a large mirror directly over the bed that confused Mule when they hung it.
“Why’d you want a dadgummed mirror above your bed?” he had asked.
Squiggy just smiled. He had always wanted a mirror above his bed so he could watch his partner get busy. Now, all he needed was a partner to get busy with. His bed was so huge that it almost took up most of the room. He slipped between the bed and the dresser and walked into the bathroom.
He had gone overboard on the bathroom, buying all the most expensive fixtures and the most comfortable toilet Squiggy had ever parked on. Everything was still nice and clean, only a slight case of shower gook forming in the corners.
Squiggy quickly showered, even using shampoo and soap. He finished and stood in front of the mirror. His hair was a little long in the back now and a tad unruly everywhere else, aside from the front where most of the hair was gone. He put the back in a ponytail. Mule thought it looked silly to wear his hair in a ponytail when it barely went over his collar, but Squiggy thought it was cool.
He found a pair of jeans on the floor that didn’t appear to be all that dirty and put them on over a pair of boxers. Squiggy grabbed a tee-shirt out of the dresser, an old ZZ-Top one advertising some concert series in the late 1980s. He looked at himself in the mirror and realized the shirt had seen better days, not that Squiggy cared.
Squiggy walked into the closet and grabbed his cleanest hat, a white one advertising the branch bank on the highway. His buddy, Swifty, had given him the hat last week and Squiggy had worn it every day since then.
He had even worn it in the Bank of Langford, hoping it would bother the workers. The only thing that seemed to bother them was him. Squiggy saw the president sneaking back into his office, the man who had stolen his home and dirty magazine collection! Well, Squiggy had shown him, by gosh, stealing the collection back.
Squiggy stuck his head in the president’s office. “I heard you’s having a party in your mouth.”
The president was a man only a little older than Squiggy. He really wished they had security at this moment. His hair was combed over, trying to cover the baldness, making it look like he had a football helmet. “Er, I wasn’t aware of a party,” Allen Woodard said.
“Yep, everybody’s comin.”
Squiggy giggled and walked along the teller line, flirting with the tellers before leaving. Nobody seemed to mind him wearing the hat of the competition, dang it! He hung out at the front door for a little while, telling all the customers coming to the bank that they should move their accounts to the branch bank.
He did this two or three times a week, just for the heck of it. Squiggy shared his story about losing his home to anybody who would listen and how hard it was on him to come home from work one day and find his home had been stolen.
Squiggy didn’t bother telling the people that he was blitzed that day so bad he hit a tree while driving home or that he was three months late on his payment.
Satisfied with his appearance, he walked into the kitchen. There was a huge fridge next to the stove. He checked out the beer situation. It was a little low so he walked through the laundry room into the garage. Squiggy had bought two other refrigerators that he kept in the garage as backup.
They were both filled with beer. He grabbed an ice chest and loaded it full of beer and ice. It was so heavy that it was hard for him to load it in the front cab of the truck.
Squiggy walked back into the house and found Mule in the kitchen. He had the fridge open and was scratching his crotch. Mule was going with his patented camo look today. A camo tee-shirt with the sleeves cut off that was a little small, revealing a little belly fat. The shorts were also a little small and cut off high on his thights.
Mule topped off his clothing line by wearing a pair of hunting books with white socks that stretched to his knees.
He saw Squiggy and turned to look at his friends. Mule held his arms out. “Figger the Tulsa chicks can resist me?”
“I imagine yer gonna be the topic of a lotta conversations,” Squiggy said. “Let’s roll!”
“What’re we gonna roll?”
“Nothing. Let’s go!”
Mule slammed the fridge door. “I’s hungry, Squiggy!”
“We’ll stop at the King and get something to eat.”
That put a smile on the Mule’s face. A road trip, lots of beer and they were going to stop at Burger King! Could life get any better?
posted by Craig Hall at 4:20 AM
1 Comments:
This was an incredibly, edible chapter and didn't strain the credulity factor at all. Loved Squiggy cavorting in front of the main bank urging others to go to a branch bank.....never mind he was blitzed when he took out the old casa. I just knew the keel in the previous chapter was just a touch too even. Chaos and wonderment reign again! WooHoo!
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