Chapter 49
Mule’s face was white as a sheet, aside from the chunks of vomit hanging off his chin hairs. His eyes were glazed over, even more so than usual.
“I threw up!” he said.
“I see that,” Squiggy said, looking down to make sure he wasn’t standing in any. “You sick?”
“Naw, I just yacked so I’ll be able to eat and drink some more.”
“Why?”
“I was watching the neighbor’s television the other night and heard the dude talk about chicks making themselves yack so they’ll lose weight.”
Squiggy was not impressed. “So you’re trying to lose weight?”
“Naw, I just wanted an empty belly so I could eat some more. I done ate and enjoyed the food. Now nothing will stop me from putting more in.”
Squiggy nodded. It actually made sense to him, which bothered him in a way. “C’mon, let’s go talk to the chicks.”
He helped Mule up and they walked back over to where the girls were standing. They looked a little concerned about Mule and the possibility of riding in the same vehicle with somebody who might vomit on them.
“He’s okay,” Squiggy said.
“You sure?” asked the large one. “He’s like got part of a hamburger hanging off his chin.”
Mule scooped up the meat off his chin and stuck it back in his mouth. “Naw, that’s some chopped beef.”
The two women took a step back. Hairy Chin looked a little more bothered than the big one.
“He’s not going to vomit again is he?” she said.
“Naw,” Mule said. “I’m through.”
He had a hiccup and everybody stepped back, afraid of a potential projectile coming toward them.
“We gotta get going,” Squiggy said.
The large woman started looking around. “Where’s my purse?”
“You must’ve left it on the table,” said her friend.
Squiggy waited for the big one to enter back into McDonalds. “Let’s go! Quick!”
“What about my friend?” said Hairy Chin.
“Screw her!”
“I ain’t,” said Mule.
Squiggy grabbed her arm and started escorting her out to the truck. They had just loaded her in the cab and started the truck when the big woman came out the door. As Squiggy started driving off, she tried to chase after them, waving her arms and hollering.
Squiggy and Mule were looking in the mirrors, giggling.
“The fat chick moves pretty good for somebody her size,” Mule said.
“Look how red her face is!” Squiggy said. He slowed to a stop, waiting for her. As she neared the tailgate, he floored the truck, leaving her covered with exhaust.
“That ain’t nice,” said Hairy Chin.
“Naw, but it was funny,” Mule said.
“Get me a beer, woman,” Squiggy said. He was driving around the rear of the building and bypassing everybody in the to-go line.
“What makes you think I should get you a beer?”
“Cause I told you to get me one.”
“Okay.” She got a beer and handed one to him. “Can I have one?”
“I reckon so.”
“You trying to get me drunk?”
Squiggy pulled back out on the highway and got on the exit ramp to get on I-40. “Do I need to?”
“Probably not.”
Mule giggled. “I wish your buddy weren’t such a lardbutt! I could use some action, too!”
“You might still get lucky.”
“Cool!” Mule said.
“Is that a train I hear?” Squiggy said.
“I don’t hear no train,” she said.
Mule laughed so hard he almost got sick again.
Hairy Chin started giggling, although she had no reason why or what was so funny. “Where we going?”
“To Tulsa,” Squiggy said.
“We’s going to Hooters!”
“I don’t think so!” said Hairy Chin. “I’m not going somewhere with you guys so you can stare at girls with fake jugs wearing tight tee-shirts!”
“I guess you could sit out in the truck then,” Squiggy said.
“Yeah!” Mule said.
“That just ain’t right,” she said, clamming up. “I thought you was going to take me some place nice for a good dinner and drinks.”
Squiggy had to think about this for a few seconds. “We will…after.”
“After what?”
“After we go by Hooters for a while and you service us.”
“I ain’t gonna give you none until I get something good to eat.”
“I got something good you can eat,” Mule said, making Squiggy giggle.
“That’s not the least bit funny!” said Hairy Chin.
“Naw, I didn’t mean that. I got some of a sandwich left over. Will that be good enough?”
"You're sick!" she said, while sliding a little closer to Squiggy. Hairy Chin put her hand on Squiggy's leg.
Squiggy looked down at his leg. Her move gave him an idea. "You ever play truth or dare?"
She frowned. "I guess I probably did when I was a kid."
"Wanna play?"
"I don't think so."
Squiggy shook his head. They were flying down I-40 going well over the established speed limit. "You's chicken."
"No, it's just silly."
"She's scared," Mule chimed in.
"No, I ain't."
"Okay, let's play," Squiggy said. "I's first. Okay...uh, what's your name?"
"Alexander."
"Alexander, truth or dare?"
She thought about her response for a second. "Truth."
Squiggy shook his head. That wasn't the response he wanted to hear. "Okay, ever been with two guys before?"
"No, that ain't none of your business. I change my choice to dare."
Squiggy smiled. "Let's see em then."
"See what?"
"Your honkers."
"My what?"
"Boobs."
"I ain't gonna show you my boobs!"
"That's how the game's played."
She shook her head. Alexander was already regretting this trip. She slowly pulled her shirt up, revealing her bra.
"Satisfied?" she said.
"Heck no," Squiggy said. "We want skin!"
She undid her bra, let it drop and raised her shirt again. Squiggy was so unnerved that he promptly left the road and almost ran into a sign for an upcoming exit. Mule moved his face approximately two inches from her breasts.
"Nice!" Mule said. She lowered her shirt down. "My turn!"
"How come it ain't my turn?" she said.
"We's goin clockwise," Squiggy said.
She shook her head again. Mule thought about his request. "Hairy Chin, truth or dare?"
"What'd you call me?"
"Sorry, I meant to say Alexer. Truth or dare?"
"Dare."
"Get naked."
"I don't think so. I ain't playing this game."
"Then you won't ever get a chance," Squiggy said.
She thought about it a little longer and promptly removed all clothing. Alexander sat naked for several seconds, causing Squiggy to swerve all over the road and Mule to drool.
She quickly replaced her clothes. Now, it was her turn. "Okay, truth or dare?"
"Who you talking to?" Squiggy asked.
"You. What's your name?"
"George Bush."
She nodded. Somehow that name rang a bell. "George, I want you to uh...what's your name?"
Alexander was looking at Mule. "What's your name?"
"Harry Peter. You can call me 'Mule' though."
"How come they call you Mule?"
"Is that your question?"
"No, I wanna dare George Bush here."
"Go for it," Squiggy said.
She did, requesting a dare that left both the guys rather shaken.
Chapter 50
“I threw up!” he said.
“I see that,” Squiggy said, looking down to make sure he wasn’t standing in any. “You sick?”
“Naw, I just yacked so I’ll be able to eat and drink some more.”
“Why?”
“I was watching the neighbor’s television the other night and heard the dude talk about chicks making themselves yack so they’ll lose weight.”
Squiggy was not impressed. “So you’re trying to lose weight?”
“Naw, I just wanted an empty belly so I could eat some more. I done ate and enjoyed the food. Now nothing will stop me from putting more in.”
Squiggy nodded. It actually made sense to him, which bothered him in a way. “C’mon, let’s go talk to the chicks.”
He helped Mule up and they walked back over to where the girls were standing. They looked a little concerned about Mule and the possibility of riding in the same vehicle with somebody who might vomit on them.
“He’s okay,” Squiggy said.
“You sure?” asked the large one. “He’s like got part of a hamburger hanging off his chin.”
Mule scooped up the meat off his chin and stuck it back in his mouth. “Naw, that’s some chopped beef.”
The two women took a step back. Hairy Chin looked a little more bothered than the big one.
“He’s not going to vomit again is he?” she said.
“Naw,” Mule said. “I’m through.”
He had a hiccup and everybody stepped back, afraid of a potential projectile coming toward them.
“We gotta get going,” Squiggy said.
The large woman started looking around. “Where’s my purse?”
“You must’ve left it on the table,” said her friend.
Squiggy waited for the big one to enter back into McDonalds. “Let’s go! Quick!”
“What about my friend?” said Hairy Chin.
“Screw her!”
“I ain’t,” said Mule.
Squiggy grabbed her arm and started escorting her out to the truck. They had just loaded her in the cab and started the truck when the big woman came out the door. As Squiggy started driving off, she tried to chase after them, waving her arms and hollering.
Squiggy and Mule were looking in the mirrors, giggling.
“The fat chick moves pretty good for somebody her size,” Mule said.
“Look how red her face is!” Squiggy said. He slowed to a stop, waiting for her. As she neared the tailgate, he floored the truck, leaving her covered with exhaust.
“That ain’t nice,” said Hairy Chin.
“Naw, but it was funny,” Mule said.
“Get me a beer, woman,” Squiggy said. He was driving around the rear of the building and bypassing everybody in the to-go line.
“What makes you think I should get you a beer?”
“Cause I told you to get me one.”
“Okay.” She got a beer and handed one to him. “Can I have one?”
“I reckon so.”
“You trying to get me drunk?”
Squiggy pulled back out on the highway and got on the exit ramp to get on I-40. “Do I need to?”
“Probably not.”
Mule giggled. “I wish your buddy weren’t such a lardbutt! I could use some action, too!”
“You might still get lucky.”
“Cool!” Mule said.
“Is that a train I hear?” Squiggy said.
“I don’t hear no train,” she said.
Mule laughed so hard he almost got sick again.
Hairy Chin started giggling, although she had no reason why or what was so funny. “Where we going?”
“To Tulsa,” Squiggy said.
“We’s going to Hooters!”
“I don’t think so!” said Hairy Chin. “I’m not going somewhere with you guys so you can stare at girls with fake jugs wearing tight tee-shirts!”
“I guess you could sit out in the truck then,” Squiggy said.
“Yeah!” Mule said.
“That just ain’t right,” she said, clamming up. “I thought you was going to take me some place nice for a good dinner and drinks.”
Squiggy had to think about this for a few seconds. “We will…after.”
“After what?”
“After we go by Hooters for a while and you service us.”
“I ain’t gonna give you none until I get something good to eat.”
“I got something good you can eat,” Mule said, making Squiggy giggle.
“That’s not the least bit funny!” said Hairy Chin.
“Naw, I didn’t mean that. I got some of a sandwich left over. Will that be good enough?”
"You're sick!" she said, while sliding a little closer to Squiggy. Hairy Chin put her hand on Squiggy's leg.
Squiggy looked down at his leg. Her move gave him an idea. "You ever play truth or dare?"
She frowned. "I guess I probably did when I was a kid."
"Wanna play?"
"I don't think so."
Squiggy shook his head. They were flying down I-40 going well over the established speed limit. "You's chicken."
"No, it's just silly."
"She's scared," Mule chimed in.
"No, I ain't."
"Okay, let's play," Squiggy said. "I's first. Okay...uh, what's your name?"
"Alexander."
"Alexander, truth or dare?"
She thought about her response for a second. "Truth."
Squiggy shook his head. That wasn't the response he wanted to hear. "Okay, ever been with two guys before?"
"No, that ain't none of your business. I change my choice to dare."
Squiggy smiled. "Let's see em then."
"See what?"
"Your honkers."
"My what?"
"Boobs."
"I ain't gonna show you my boobs!"
"That's how the game's played."
She shook her head. Alexander was already regretting this trip. She slowly pulled her shirt up, revealing her bra.
"Satisfied?" she said.
"Heck no," Squiggy said. "We want skin!"
She undid her bra, let it drop and raised her shirt again. Squiggy was so unnerved that he promptly left the road and almost ran into a sign for an upcoming exit. Mule moved his face approximately two inches from her breasts.
"Nice!" Mule said. She lowered her shirt down. "My turn!"
"How come it ain't my turn?" she said.
"We's goin clockwise," Squiggy said.
She shook her head again. Mule thought about his request. "Hairy Chin, truth or dare?"
"What'd you call me?"
"Sorry, I meant to say Alexer. Truth or dare?"
"Dare."
"Get naked."
"I don't think so. I ain't playing this game."
"Then you won't ever get a chance," Squiggy said.
She thought about it a little longer and promptly removed all clothing. Alexander sat naked for several seconds, causing Squiggy to swerve all over the road and Mule to drool.
She quickly replaced her clothes. Now, it was her turn. "Okay, truth or dare?"
"Who you talking to?" Squiggy asked.
"You. What's your name?"
"George Bush."
She nodded. Somehow that name rang a bell. "George, I want you to uh...what's your name?"
Alexander was looking at Mule. "What's your name?"
"Harry Peter. You can call me 'Mule' though."
"How come they call you Mule?"
"Is that your question?"
"No, I wanna dare George Bush here."
"Go for it," Squiggy said.
She did, requesting a dare that left both the guys rather shaken.
posted by Craig Hall at 4:24 AM
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